A day in the life of a sudoku puzzle

 This might be my day; I feel the pages around me turning.  It has been a long time since I was printed in this Sudoku Volume 101 puzzle book.  Puzzle number 144, and listed as a "very hard", I guess I can take some pride in being called "very hard", although my name 144 doesn't do much for me.  Oh Ya! I think the owner of this book is turning to me now, I don't know his name, some of the other puzzles have names for him though- like The Big Duffus, Dimmy, Dummy, Dork Head, anyway I have been hearing them snicker about him after he has tried his puzzle solving skills on them and I can't wait to have a look at this guy and his supposed "intellect".  It has been about a year since his wife gave him this puzzle book and it seems like an eternity to me for him to finally get to me.  Yup, I'm on deck!  Looks like I am the puzzle to be worked today.   Alright now, let's get a good look at this Duffus guy.  Hum pretty ordinary looking, no movie star that's for sure, kinda big, kinda chubby, gray hair, yeah, I see that dumb look when he sits there staring at me with his mouth hanging open.  Well, now that I have assessed his looks, let's see if he is as bad at solving puzzles as I've heard.  OK well I can see his eyes scanning me over, looking for the easy answers, but remember, I'm "very hard" I'm not giving up much to simple scanning.  Oh, he's not finding much is he?  Putting down some little possible numbers, that's not a bad strategy if you can make it work.  Ha! he missed that obvious 2 there right on line six, OK, this might be more entertaining than I had hoped!  Well, he is done scanning horizontally now he is going for the vertical scan, I'm not giving up anything there. There it is! There it is!  that dumb perplexed look they were all laughing at, Ha! if only I had a built-in camera.  So I can see he is stumped, what is he going to do now?  Oh, looks like he is doing the elimination process, trying all the numbers in a square to see if only one will fit.  Good luck with that Chumpo.  I knew that was going nowhere, what's he doing now?  Quitting? Where'd he go?  Hmm, I hear the fridge door open, yup, just like they said, this guy is a snacking machine!  No wonder he's chubby.  OK he's got his sticky fingers back on the pencil, let's see if his "brain food" of chips and hummus do him any good.  Alright, now were cooking, he is doing his fill out every possible number in a square routine.  What a mess!  He has studied this online and in help books many times but from what I heard; he is a very slow learner!  Now that he has this slew of numbers he has to somehow figure out which ones go where and this is the true test of a sudoku solver.  OK, he's looking really intently in square one at all the numbers in the nine boxes, I think I can see smoke coming out of his ears, I give him credit, he really is trying.  No, not yet, it's another trip back to the fridge, looks like a cold hamburger with no bun, leftover from last night's grill.  A little salt, a few quick bits and down the gullet, wipe hands on pants and back to square one.  Alright, he is making his move, getting out the new fancy eraser his wife bought him for Christmas and clearing out a couple of boxes that are just crammed with numbers and putting in the one correct number that he has deduced goes there.  Ha! Ha! Ha! he's got the numbers reversed!  Oh this is going to be good!  Now look! those wrong numbers are making him put more wrong numbers in the other lines and boxes!  Oh boy! when this guy makes a booboo, he makes it big!  I gotta control myself, if he hears me laughing he might suspect something is wrong and I want to keep this fun going for as long as possible.  In fact when he goes to the fridge for his next snack, I might just switcharoo a couple of my numbers to line up with his mistakes to make it look like he is on track to solving this one in a jiffy.   Oh! there go a couple more wrong answers, this is great!  I haven't had this much fun since I smeared ink all over the hands of that new kid the printer hired to print us in this book.  Anyway, what's the big galoot up to now?  Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! will you look at that!  Three wrong numbers all in the same row but they all look right!  Only a professional Duffus could pull this off!  Oh, this is rich!  Ha, ha, I don't know if I can keep my composure much longer, he is almost done- or so he thinks he is!  So far he hasn't seen the wrong answers staring out at him, I'm doing a good job of just keeping my composure and trying to look like all is well, "no problems here bud, just keep on putting down those numbers, you're doing fine".  OK folks, the end is near, he has only a few more numbers to fill in and then the truth will hit him like a ton of bricks.  It's funny how us sudoku puzzles can hide a page full of wrong answers right up until the very end, then when the last few numbers don't fit in it all comes crashing down.  Yup, there's it is, that puzzled look on his dumb face, is he going to figure it out?  I doubt it, he is in too deep to dig out of this mess.  Look at there! just like I thought- he's going back to the answer page- CHEATER!  You just can't trust anybody anymore- you know what I mean?  Wait now, hmm, he is not just changing the numbers, he is marking out all the wrong numbers, now he is erasing all the wrong numbers?  Well I hope he has an industrial sized eraser!   Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! gimme a break man!  you're rubbing the hide right off of me!  Oh, here comes that crazy little vacuum I heard about, ha, ha hee, hee, this thing tickles!  So he might be a rotten sudoku player, but at least he doesn't just brush the eraser crumbs off the book onto the floor.  Looks like he is going to go at the puzzle another time now that he erased all the wrong numbers.  Well it is definitely easier now that he got rid of all the wrong answers to finish solving me.  Plus he can still faintly see the wrong answers that he erased so he shouldn't make the same dumb mistakes again.  Although I wouldn't put anything past this guy!  Alright, finally done, looks like he got them all right finally, he's not too proud though, I can see that from here.  He hates having to correct all his wrong answers, but what's a big galoot to do?  He can't just sit around and spin his stupid fidget spinners all day.  Besides, I haven't laughed this hard since-I can't remember when, so as far as I'm concerned, this guy's a winner!