Please understand I really wasn’t trying to be so hard on you kids, times were tough, money was scarce, so we made tough choices. Toilet paper was just not very high on the list of niceties in our day. We bought the cheapest one to get the job done and if I had to choose between putting food on the table or nice toilet paper in the bathroom I’d do it again. Fortunately now it’s no longer a this or that decision, we can afford good food and nice cushy toilet paper.
I think I have uncovered a revenge plot while visiting some of you lately. I think the minute my car pulls onto your street the orders are given to make the big toilet paper switcheroo and everyone jumps into action swiftly switching out nice cushy two ply toilet paper in all your bathrooms for the cheapest thinnest single ply toilet paper you keep just for this occasion. This toilet paper is what my friend Dan calls “John Wayne” toilet paper because he says “It don’t take no crap from nobody” except he doesn’t say crap. It’s probably imported from China and made from recycled wax paper.
So look, I get it, we put you through a lot but please have a heart and put the cushy two ply back in the bathroom.
