Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Death stop bothering me

 Life is full of fun and money, tried sex once was sweet as honey.

Who would know that fun would pass, and sex and money they don't last?

All the while the years click by, seconds, minutes, days, they fly.

While hanging on to time quite tightly, thoughts of death sneak up nightly.

But I push the thoughts away, besides- I lived another day.

What could possibly go wrong, with a man so smart and strong?

Hearts don't fail or cancers come to people over sixty-one.

I'm sure of that as people die (sometimes younger ones than I).

Then I think of all my chores, on thoughts of death I slam the door.

Somehow death can't tackle me, I'm sprinting on eternally.

(I could keep that lie alive, better at age twenty-five).

Ugly thoughts of end of life are brought to me by aching knees, various pains, and short memory.

This old body's showing signs of something I would call decline.

What the Heck? This shouldn't be! It's not the plan I had for me.

Don't ask me how, don't ask me why, somehow I thought I'd never die.

I'd keep on chugging endlessly, strong body, mind, and energy.

The details they do fail me know, but I'd succeed someway, somehow.

Aren't I the captain of my ship? barking orders from my lips?

Don't I decide which tack to sail? who gave the order I should fail?

I'LL NOT HAVE IT FOR ONE MINUTE! I'M THE CAPTAIN I SAY DAMN IT!

oh, so sorry, got worked up, just don't want to drink that cup

That cup of human frailty, for it brings loss and misery.

I'm fighting off that dark, dark, night when my life will take its flight.

To places I have never been, "no thanks" I'll stay right here again.

I want to be my own good god while walking on this earthen sod.

I chafe against any bit, that tries to make my will submit.

But I know what fool am I, mortality I can't deny.

And whatever makes me think I can pull back from the brink?

Have I had so much success, I think I'll never make a mess?

If I look back on my lifes trail, what gives me hope I will not fail?

Scattered all along behind, failures are not hard to find.

I've failed before will fail again, it only a matter of how and when.

So I have to honestly, think about my destiny.

Thought I hate to admit, to a higher power I must submit.

I'm not really any good at fixing me the way I should.

It's going to take a better plan to make of me a better man.

I look around and see, there's one who's call a Deity.

He's been trusted for so long, and even worshiped by a throng

of people oh so much smarter, the Bible seems to be their charter.

Though it says lots of things, there's one theme of which it rings.

And that theme is "live by faith", and you will find unending grace.

Grace to me the chafing one, to whom he says "please be my son".

Grace to get you through your trials, grace to others too (who wouldn't normally bring you smiles).

Grace to live, grace to die, and grace to trust he doesn't lie.

So now take a deep, deep breath, stop that worry about death.

And where we will go after that, my Good Lord didn't build no shack.

He's been making quite a place, it's all a part of his his good grace.

If faith it takes then faith it'll be, but solid rock faith you won't find in me.

It's stammering, stumbling, weakly me, until I reach eternity.

When that comes faith won't be needed, in fact faith will be unheeded.

We shall see him face to face, then all we'll think about is grace.

But faith for now however weak, is all my friend that we should seek.











Monday, May 20, 2024

A conversation with Jesus before death

 When I found out Sue Gansz (Shotts) was dying from COPD I wasn't too surprised, she had been a smoker and was on oxygen for a while already.  I knew she was a believer and I started to imagine a conversation she might have with Jesus in her last days.  Thoughts formed in my head and they evolved into a poem which I started, stopped, restarted, then finished after she died.  Here is the poem.


Hello Jesus, Susan here


Hello Jesus, Susan here

I'd like to talk, can you come near?

My voice is low, breathing weak,

It's getting hard for me to speak.

I know I'll see you any day,

but just a visit now I pray?

I want to ask of things ahead,

I'm thinking, thinking on this bed.

Hello Susan, Jesus here

Of course you know I'm always near.

So ask away I'm here for you

There's nothing more I'd rather do

Than talk with you and calm your fears

I want to wipe away your tears.

Oh Jesus, first I want to say

That life has drained me day by day.

I started off so strong and smart

but things have happened from the start.

Habits came and took their toll

while disappointments dimmed my soul.

Here I lay on deathbed sad

just wishing for the life I'd had.

So soon this life on earth is through

but there's much more I want to do.

I want to trade this weakened me 

for one who's strong with energy.

I want to run and not grow tired

I want to think with thoughts inspired.

I want to jump in mighty leaps

I want to never face defeats.

I want to write a hundred books

I want to have the cutest looks.

I want money to fall from trees

and rake it up whenever I please.

I want to eat and not gain weight

with heaps of goodies on my plate.

I want to sing upon a stage

with fans who think I'm all the rage.

I want to learn, I want to teach

I want to tan upon the beach.

I want to drive a car real fast

but never run it out of gas.

I want to laugh, I want to play

but mostly, I want the old to go away.

Jesus I've said a lot of things

please tell me what my future brings.

Oh Susan dear, you make me laugh!

in heaven you will make a splash!

I think though when you see this place

these thoughts of yours will be erased.

Once you see the Holy Fire

It's hard to keep these small desires.

You know I've spent a lot of time

making heaven so divine.

It only took me one short week

to make the earth of which you speak.

But if these things you still must do

then You Go Girl! I tell you true.

Thank you Jesus, you're so kind

but one more thing is on my mind.

I hate to ask, it might be sin

but such a state of hate I'm in.

The Devil's had with me his way

I really want to make him pay!

Could you lock us in a room

and leave me with a sturdy broom?

With which I want to beat him sore

and have him begging for no more?

For all the trouble he has caused

revenge is mine! and then I'd pause

And follow you in every way

never to sin another day.

Susan, Susan, what you ask!

I do not think that you can grasp,

The trouble that the Devil's in

he is the father of all sin!

I have the biggest axe to grind

that Old Snake- he's mine, all mine!

But when I throw him in the pit

stand close by me and on him spit!

He will give you no more trouble

I'll vanquish him on the double.

Now Susan dear you need to rest

you're passing through the final test.

Thank you Jesus, it's hard to breath

please send your angels with all speed.

Thanks for taking time with me

my fluttering eyes now angels see.

Rest well my child, they're almost there

your limp body they will bear,

And bring you to me oh so fast

then we will hug in one sweet clasp!

The Spirit of God from that embrace

will have you singing Amazing Grace!

Then voice and body ever strong

you will roar with the heavenly throng!