I think I'm writing this because I still feel bad that I lied to Mr. Pallet, my junior high teacher and coach. I met Mr. Pallet in the 7th grade, I was new to junior high, nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs (I love that line and just had to use it). Mr. Pallet was my Geography teacher and boy was I intimidated by him. To me he was a tough boxer masquerading as a junior high teacher. He had a stocky build, raspy voice, and what looked like a broken nose and crooked lips. On top of this he talked tough, he would shut anyone down who spoke up out of turn in class with "don't speak unless I pull your chain". To a shy kid like me in a strange new school he seemed pretty scary, but you know, he had a very well behaved class. And I found out as time went by he was funny, smart, and taught well- I just made sure I didn't speak without having my chain pulled.
Junior high had school sports and I found out my rapidly growing body was not too bad at knocking littler people over on the football field. And there were lots of little people in junior high, now here was something I could do while hidden in a uniform wearing a helmet. Instead of feeling scared, I could be scarry to someone else, felt pretty good. Sorry all you little suckers, but not sorry enough to stop knocking you over. After 7th grade football season was over I decided I should just keep on playing sports and basketball tryouts were next. It didn't occur to me that not being able to dribble, shoot, make a layup, or know any of the basics of basketball would be a problem for me so I was shocked when they said I didn't make the team. The coach was kind enough to say I could be the manager and that sounded pretty good to me. I think I was thinking something like student coach, but in reality it had more to do with picking up wet towels in the lockeroom. Not sure why but Mr. Pallet asked me about my basketball plans and when I told him about maybe being the manager the look on his face was enough to give me some doubts about the position. In fact I think he just kind of scoffed at the idea of me wasting my time as a basketball manager and suggested I come out for the wrestling team that he just happened to be coaching with Mr. Pike. There was a catch though, wrestling was only for 8th and 9th graders and me being a seventh grader meant I could only go to practice and not wrestle in any competitions. To my 7th grade brain, there was no down side to that so the next thing you know I was sweating my butt off in wrestling practice with the 8th and 9th graders. Neither Mr. Pallet or Mr. Pike had ever wrestled so it was kind of funny to see them trying to teach us wrestling moves from a book. I can remember them laughing at themselves as they tried to teach us the moves while looking at the pictures in the book. It was fun and in time I got decent at wrestling and had a winning record in matches in the 8th and 9th grades all the while Mr. Pallet and Mr. Pike kept on coaching us.
In 9th grade I had Mr. Pallet again in the classroom and he was the head 9th grade football coach also so we saw quite a bit of each other. I had grown to really like him, he was my favorite teacher and anytime he would talk to me one on one I felt he cared for me more than any teacher had before or since. I did have one problem though- he was about my height and when he would talk to me he would step in close, put his arms on my shoulders and speak really close face to face. It was never inappropriate but for a kid raised in a family of non-touchers it made me feel really weird. I just decided that he was Italian and that's the way Italians talk.
We had a sports assembly to honor the athletes when I was in the 9th grade and us guys on the wrestling team decided to get Mr. Pallet a gift to give him at the assembly. We collected the princely sum of $30 (it was a princely sum to me) and one of the guys said his dad could get a really nice watch wholesale for that amount so I handed over the money to him and sure enough he came back to school with a fancy watch. At the assembly I had to get up before the whole junior high and present the watch to Mr. Pallet, I was very tongue tied and very proud. He seemed to like it, smiled real big, and tried it on right there in front of everyone. I hope it really was a good watch.
Fast forward to high school, I was back in football and wrestling. Same sports, same team mates, but new coaches, new bigger world of high school. Once again sports was something I could feel comfortable doing. Everything went along well until the 11th grade, I was still growing and had outgrown my wrestling weight class. The next weight up had a senior who was pretty good in his class and there was nowhere else for him to wrestle so the only thing I could do was lose weight to stay in my weight class. It was a disaster, I went from eating like a horse to eating like a bird and my energy and strength went from strong as a horse to weak as a bird. I was getting beaten by wrestlers from other schools that I had beaten easily in the past. Clearly something was wrong, I was arguing with my parents about not eating (some days I only ate one orange) and I had never argued with them before. My school work fell off, I almost quit geometry- I couldn't think straight. My world had lost it's joy and everything seemed gloomy. One of my worst showings on the wrestling mat was when I was easily beaten by a not very good wrestler in the high school gym one night. After the match I headed for a side room off the gym to sulk and Mr. Pallet followed me there, he had come to watch his former wrestlers and was really concerned about me. He asked me what was wrong, of course I said nothing was wrong and even when he asked me point blank if I was eating enough I lied and told him I was. Team loyalty can be pretty strong and wrong sometimes.
From the moment I told that lie I felt guilty, Mr. Pallet was my favorite coach and teacher and I had lied to him. It bothered me that I lied to him when he was just looking out for my good. I got though that time of funk in my life and that was the last school sport I ever went out for. Life moves on and graduation, marriage, children, career and a of lot other things crowd into the things you want, need, and have to do, still that guilty feeling would creep up from time to time.
When our oldest son went to school, who should be one of his teachers but Mr. Pallet! I was pretty exited to find that out! Really looked forward to parent teachers conferences, but it didn't seem appropriate to bring up that old lie while other parents were waiting to talk to Mr. Pallet. Some other time I would do it. Then one day I saw him and his wife eating in Pizza Hut and went over to their table to say hi and once again, it seemed awkward to bring up that subject while they were there to enjoy a meal. Another time I'm sure would be better.
It wasn't too long after that when I was saddened to hear of Mr. Pallet's passing. It seemed he was all too young to die and now I realized I could never tell him I was sorry I lied. It wasn't like he needed to hear it, I just wanted to say it for my own conscious, a rather selfish thing to think about in the time of someone else's death I realized. But I genuinely was saddened for his sake and for his family's sake at his passing. He was in my opinion a beautiful person, not with that fighter's face, but on the inside he was beautiful.
Speaking of beautiful, every so often I run into another beautiful person- Mrs. Pallet, she reminds me of Kathrine Hepburn. I usually say hi to her and she remembers me as one of Mr. Pallets old students. She is always kind and smiles when I bother her to tell her Mr. Pallet was my favorite teacher and coach. I know I wrote this little post to assuage my guilt, but I'm hoping somehow I can give it to her and she will like it because it involves her Mr. Pallet.